Welcome to my home, or as I like to call it- The Black Hole. My house is vicious. If you set something down here, the furniture will eat it. Money, lighters, flash drives, clothing- it’s all edible, and we feed our furniture well.
Don’t forget the coffee table that drinks blood. It was once my grandmother’s. I gashed my head on it as a child, and both my kids have as well. I swear that’s what keeps the damned thing polished and new looking.
And toys…. If Toys R’ Us and K B Toys ever mated and produced offspring, the children apparently live here. In every room of the house. All over the place. And they reproduce nightly, creating new toys to trip over, and food for the furniture.
It’s definitely a black hole, this house. If you don’t hear from me for a few days, send help- and check my furniture carefully…..